I hate how I am, I hate who I am. But really, Who am I? I cant get a handle on anything. I need to push through the bullshit that my illnesses cause (manly lupus and bi-polar), but I'm having hard time. I just lost another boyfriend who couldn't handle my issues, not that I blame him, Im fucked up. But living in misery is hard, everyday is a chore. So what, in my small, medocore, low class American life can I do to help MYSELF??? Today,...today is a rough day. My fight with food is constant and in this moment I hate everything about myself. So I am starting from scratch. I want to be thin again, life is easier to handle when you do not worry about looking like a fat cow.
Currently 188. Goal weight 130. Highest weight 202. Time to get started.
Food today: Coffee with creamer: approx: 50 cals, Apple: 45 cals, rice with hot sauce: 200 cals, veggies: 100 calls. Total approx 400 cals. call it a day.
Daily routine of the 100 exercise plan (see image). More if I can handle it. The main problem with working out is the ongoing lack of energy I have. (lupus drains and destroys any life I have after about 1 hour of being awake). I included a link of Lupus information if you are interested.
TIME TO CHANGE!
www.butyoudontlooksick.com ~ lupus information
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